Rule 4- Hygiene

In light of the Rules we've presented I think you deserve a break with all the hard work. Then again I really don't like you so why should I make your job easier.

One great thing any good Asshole is able to pull of is to be absloutely disgusting. Be disgusting in self apperance, eating habits, and mentality.

Nobody wants to kiss a guy who smells like doritos and throw up. Nor do they want to sit next to a woman who talks loudly at the movie theatre. Mainly though people don't like to associate with a disgusting perverted pig. In doing the following you'll lose a fanbase and become the quint essential Asshole.

Wipe your ass with a dishrag hell even allow the feces to stay loged into your fingernails and imbedded into your skin.

Allow your figure to lose it's shape and look like your a male version of Kirstir Alley. Fat mean men who smell very bad are a sterotype many Assholes face. Work on it and with that you'll accomplish your goals.

When thinking about becoming a great Asshole you must remember that apperance means everything. Take Dick Cheney for instance he was born for the roll.

Rule 3- Be Opinionated

The next Rule of the Asshole is to learn how to really speak your mind. Losen up, there's absloutely nothing to worry about when your an Asshole. Let your Confidence Shine.

Now generally if your an Asshole you will avoid dealing with other people. Other people tend to really piss the Asshole Population off. But every once in a while your bitch ex-wife or dumbass kid that isn't even yours forces you into a public situation. In that instance it's time to shine you no good son of a bitch.

The best ways to tick people off is by focusing on whats really important to them and spitting right on it. Religion, Politics, and Family are the three main keys to work on.
If a fellow co worker would like to talk about his Political views then you must disagree with everything he says.
If he supports Pro Life then call him a Pussy.
And if he introduces you to his kids ask him if his sons gay, say he has a homolike voice. As his daughters if shes the same girl he paid for a handy last night in the Wal Mart Parking Lot.

This will generally enrage your peers, to go a step further have a few beers and get shitfaced. Feel some girls up and cuss out your boss. Reveal secrets you've heard in the past such as affairs and pregnencys.

Never stop voicing you opinions, don't fear the consequences, and treat others the way a true Asshole would treat them.

Rule 2- Help

The best way to summarize Rule 2 is DHA or Don't Help Anybody.

If your friend calls you up and needs help moving a couch simply don't pick up or if you do pick up then use your bullshit reflex.

The Bullshit Reflex is a quick acting muscle distributed from the brain that causes you to lie. So if you need to make up an excuse use your Bullshit Reflex and you'll be all safe. Unless your a Pro Asshole and you just say "No".

When Training to become a proper Asshole you must only help people when it will be negative towards them. Say put your Aunt's phone number on Craigslist as that of a Prostitute. Or sign your brother up to organize crafts at a Nursing Home.

Never ever ever offer your services to help others and always do your best to screw them over. Once you master this practice you'll be on your way as the biggest Asshole who's ever walked this damn planet.

Rule #1- The Golden Rule

The most important Rule of Assanomics you ca remember is to Never worry about what anyone ever thinks of you in the process of properly becoming a proper asshole you must forget about everyone elses cares and concerns. If you've got a problem doing that then your in the wrong place Nancy.

When your a down and out Asshole always repeat these words in your head Screw them and only worry about you. You'll be feeling refreshed like a piece of dog shit once again.

As an Asshole people will always and forever hate you so the best thing to do is just tell them all to go to Hell and pour Motor Oil down the Drain.

Now get the hell out of my blog and don't come back.