In light of the Rules we've presented I think you deserve a break with all the hard work. Then again I really don't like you so why should I make your job easier.
One great thing any good Asshole is able to pull of is to be absloutely disgusting. Be disgusting in self apperance, eating habits, and mentality.
Nobody wants to kiss a guy who smells like doritos and throw up. Nor do they want to sit next to a woman who talks loudly at the movie theatre. Mainly though people don't like to associate with a disgusting perverted pig. In doing the following you'll lose a fanbase and become the quint essential Asshole.
Wipe your ass with a dishrag hell even allow the feces to stay loged into your fingernails and imbedded into your skin.
Allow your figure to lose it's shape and look like your a male version of Kirstir Alley. Fat mean men who smell very bad are a sterotype many Assholes face. Work on it and with that you'll accomplish your goals.
When thinking about becoming a great Asshole you must remember that apperance means everything. Take Dick Cheney for instance he was born for the roll.